Leaning on God to Keep It All Together
Since 2020, I have had a word of the year.
2020 - LEVERAGE: use something to maximize advantage
2021 - STRATEGY: a plan of action or policy designed to achieve a major or overall aim
2022 - GREATER: considerably above the normal or average
2023 - RESTORATION: the process of bringing an object back to its original state
2024 - COMMIT: to carry into action deliberately; to entrust
This year, I decided that I would do something a little differently. This year, I have decided that instead of one word for the year, I will have nine words. These nine words come from the Bible; Galatians 5:22-23. This is where you can find God’s Fruit of the Spirit: LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS, SELF CONTROL.
The story behind what led me to select The Fruit Of The Spirit this year is pretty intense. There was an event that occurred toward the end of 2024 that convicted my spirit causing me to reflect on my actions. In that moment of time, I neither reflected my Christian beliefs nor the God whom I say I love and serve.
Would you like to hear about it? Here it goes! So what had happened was, Maddison and I were standing in line at Chipotle. When it was our turn to place our order the young lady was very abrupt and rude when I asked to have some of the freshly cooked chicken which was being prepared by the line cook. I actually said that I would wait until it was finished because I saw he was still cooking it. The server apparently didn’t hear me and she said with an attitude, then you gonna have to wait. So based on her response to me, I’m thinking she was being a lil froggy which makes me want to JUMP! AND I DID!!! So, that’s when I said, I just told you I would wait! At this point I started to feel the heat rise up on my inside and I instinctively met her rudeness with two times the rudeness. I should have walked out at that very moment. But I didn’t. Instead, I went in on her!
So as she began to fix Maddison’s meal, of which she usually orders herself, I took over and started barking out the order at the server. I was aggressively saying, put more. Give me this. Do that. When I say nasty, I mean it! But when Maddison’s meal shifted to the next employee I was sweet as pie. As you can see my rage was targeted.
In the midst of it all, I noticed that the server and another employee who was working at the online order station said something to each other. Unless I’m making this up in my head, she said, something to the effect of the nerve of her. I later discovered that she was the apprentice manager. I found that out after requesting to speak with a manager to report the poor service from the first girl. The exchange with the apprentice manager became heated as well when she asked what I wanted because she had orders to complete. Baaaabbbbbyyyyy! I’m telling you I should have walked out of that place long before all this escalated. The apprentice manager ended up flicking her hand at me which hit my hand and I almost blacked out. At that moment, I saw myself grabbing her by the bill of her cap and ramming her into the back of the kitchen to beat her ass! But it was just a vision. The sane Erika kept telling the outraged Erika that her daughter was in the truck and that she had too much to lose if my emotions were to get the best of me. The sane Erika prevailed and I ended up just walking out.
I sat in my truck for several minutes calling number after number. I finally reached a customer service representative to report the incident. Would you believe he offered me a free beverage on my next visit? MAN I’M NOT GOING BACK. And I’m for damn sure not going back for a free drink!
For the rest of the evening and days later, God got to work on me! Oooooohhhhh I felt so bad. I embarrassed myself! I was even mad at myself! I couldn’t figure out why I let that go so far and for so long. Why did I get so upset?! Uggghhh!!
This is why I decided that I needed to deeply reflect and make some major changes as it relates to my temperament. My fruit was not from the tree of God! So, if I want to reflect the God I say I love and serve, then, I need to reflect his spirit. So what does that look like? His spirit reflects love. His spirit is joyful. Jesus is the Prince of Peace. God is patient. He is kind. He is good. He is faithful. He is gentle. Jesus displayed self control; I’m so glad about that because that means all these are accessible to me! I’m also grateful for His grace. I have to get it together!
The way I plan to implement my nine words of the year is to study one word each month and live out that word according to God’s will. Then journal daily to reflect and evaluate my success and progress. That will leave 3 months remaining of the year. The last quarter of the year is for mastery! I want to master living a life that consistently reflects God’s spirit by combining three words each month until the end of the year.
I’m so grateful that God is forgiving and longsuffering. So far, I have studied peace in January. In one of the devotions I’ve read, it said that peace is a faith fundamental. I’m so glad I have recommitted to my faith fundamental of living a life that reflects God’s spirit.
Now if you read my story and gripped your pearls, don’t judge me! Just know He’s still working on me. Also, evaluate how you’re doing with the displaying God’s spirit in your daily lives.